Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
