Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
