I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
