I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
