I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
