NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
