Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize