Me too!
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
