Need sex. Gaining weight.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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