Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
