haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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