He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
the condom got lost in my hair
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
