she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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