I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
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i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
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Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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