at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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