so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
