Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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