im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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