I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The best revenge is premature balding
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
