i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
