Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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