honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
