you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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