I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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