a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize