well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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