In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I want her autograph on my taint
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I need water and some morals
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
