I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
