I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
