sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
