When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
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thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
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I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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