I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
