Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
