Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour