brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.