so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE