im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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