Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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