You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Randomize
