Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I FOUND THE LEGS
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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