Even water is tasting like jack daniels
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
