cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
