Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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