Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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