whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
That's intense
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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