I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
