I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
