I'm eating all of the evidence.
time to smoke my breakfast
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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