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sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I think my moral compass just broke
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