i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
