How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
