Sponge bath it is.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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