Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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