I accidentally had phone sex last night
I hate all girls vehemently.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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