anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
