I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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