I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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