my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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