My first STD was from a foam party
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
